so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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