I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
