Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
