So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Randomize
