Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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