Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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