I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
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