she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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