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• (206): View more from Washington

  remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?

  (206): View more from Washington

  joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.

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• (972): View more from Texas

  Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Houston, we have a problem

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  where are u?

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.

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• (510): View more from California

  Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  we need to find an occasion to wear tutus

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.

  (941): View more from Florida

  it was a krispy kreme

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• (510): View more from California

  Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do

  (1-970): View more from Colorado

  enjoy it.

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  I just snorted sandwich everywhere.

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I hope it smells nice :)

  (440): View more from Ohio

  IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.

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