he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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