The maid of honor just puked.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
