I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I am naked and annoyed.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
