i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
She bit a glass in half.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
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