I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I will pee on everything he values.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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