i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
