i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
