Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize