He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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