Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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