yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Randomize