I didn't shave. On purpose
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
