Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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