we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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