so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
