uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
