if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize