That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
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