idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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