This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
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