I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
