Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
She even gives head with a lisp.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
