he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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