Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
