I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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