She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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