Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
