Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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