Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
