i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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