Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
