I could have mohawked her pubes.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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