My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
