I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
