We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
