writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
