guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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