i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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