why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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