she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
