you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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