just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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