Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
