Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
