i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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