it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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