I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
