I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
