were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
