I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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