went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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