we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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