I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
