Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
In America we eat man semen.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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