Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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