i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I want to fling myself into the sun
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
