What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize