Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
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