smell my finger.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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