So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
