You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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