dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
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