Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
