Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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