I can text with my tongue
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Randomize
