Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
