it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Someone shit on the floor
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
