After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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